Tuesday, August 14, 2007

DARKNESS AHEAD....................

Early morning I woke after having one of the worst nightmares. It was about this thing, basically a turn on the life, for which I am not yet ready, not ready to reach the next level of life cycle. I am not mentally prepare for it. For the next one hour, I was sitting in a corner and went completely blank, the silence shattered with sound of noisy door bell.

The front page of today’s Times of India, is catchy. Asking everyone to start initiating the actions from Self rather than waiting for others to DO. Usually such messages, mails, songs or for that matter TV ads make me feel fresh, energizes me, but today nothing is working out yet.

I thought of calling my sister, but then it must be 1PM @ other side of the world. Bhau is coming to India on 16th, so I wasn’t sure whether to talk with him on phone or have a face to face conversation. Even in that confusion I placed the call, to hear the typical answering machine reply L. I was wondering what to do and then connected to internet to read something which can inspire me and keep my moral high. I saw a friend online, even before I could buzz her and talk, my ISP decided to F*** me again.

There was nothing I can do about it, so decided to leave early for work & my bike was waiting for me. Believe me friends; I never had such bad start of a day in my entire life. Yesterday I forgot to turn of the petrol cock & now petrol was overflowing in carburetor. After struggling with it for more than 20 mins, finally it started. As soon as I reached office, workload was waiting for me. All these were looking like bad omens to me.

Then suddenly my cellphone rang and my parents were on the other end. The fear started gripping my mind while talking with him. I did try to prove my point and situation, but it seems that they are not in the mood to listen, for me it’s a big question. I don’t want to hurt their feelings but then How can I let the society to decide my faith? After all it’s the question of next 40 years of life (let’s hope that I will survive that long :-| )

I have to fight this battle on my own….

( All my post on this blog was about the funny/happiest/cherish moments and memories of my life. And how unlucky I am, my 50th post is all about the wrong things :( , and please do ignore all the grammatical/spelling or any other damn mistake. I am not in mood to re-read this post )


bhawna said...

so finally u re at your easiest best - i often wonder how many times we try to show the world that all is okay, when inside of us is churning upside down - like those front loading washing machines. Well, only one thing comes to my mind to say to you - 'this too shall pass...!'

Manodeep said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dagny said...

Sorry fr not bein there to provide a listening ear..whn u needed it..
i know how tough it is..whn ur frnds r not close :(
but remember....
"You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can’t sell it, can’t buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on"

Priyatama said...

Hey 1 pm is not late for me :)
And any time is good time to talk to you!
Take care!